Wit and Humour: Tenali Raman and the Two Soldiers

Hi!!! Today's witty and funny story is about how Raman saved himself from a grave punishment. He even earned a reward for it!!! Let's go…

A few months after the arrival of Tenali Raman to court, the king and his queen had hosted a private festival. It was only for themselves and a selected few courtiers. They were about to see the performance of a Krishnaleela (A play based on Krishna's life) troupe. The king arrived in splendour, with pomp and pizzazz. He rode with his queen on an elephant, which was decked up with golden jewellery and lovely silk and cotton cloaks. They got off at their palace and entered through the glistening gold doors. When they stepped in, all of the ministers, courtiers and guests stood up and bowed to the king and the queen. "Namaskara Mahaprabhu!!!" They clapped their hands and prayed to him. The king lifted his hand and smiled. They strode in and sat at the highest seats in the house. They were adorned with fluffy velvet cushions and golden armrests. Smiling, the king cheered, "Welcome to the festival!! I ask that you give our guests, the performers, a warm welcome!!" The room applauded with pleasure. The king then called his chief guard towards him and whispered in his ear, "I don't want anyone to disturb me. Let no one into the palace." The guard nodded his head and marched to the side of the room. " Gusbusgusbus," Suddenly, the guard and two others whizzed to the door. The chief guard snapped, "You must guard the door at all costs. See to it that no one enters through these doors!" Saluting the chief, one of the soldiers turned and started to patrol the doors. "LEFT RIGHT LEFT!!!!! LEFT RIGHT LEFT!!!!! LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT!!!!!!!!" He took their orders very seriously.

Meanwhile, Raman came to the palace and was about to walk in as usual, when one of the guards thrust his spear in front of him. "You may not enter!!! The king's orders. He is not to be disturbed." He pushed Raman back, which aroused Raman's curiosity, "Hmmm… There is something special going on and I have not been invited! I must see what it is!" He strode back to the guard, who stopped him, "Hey!! I told you to go away!!!!" But, Raman countered his statement, "But I must see the king!!! He had promised me a reward and had asked me to see him." The guard thought that his reward would be a bag of gold as usual. Seeing this as an opportunity, the guard asked Raman, " Alright!! What will you give me if I let you enter?" Raman smiled, "I shall give you half of what the King gives me!" That was exactly what the guard wanted to hear. "You may go in, then. But remember, half of what you get is for me!" Raman ran inside without answering the first guard, fearing he might change his mind.

When he reached the door to the performance hall, Raman saw another guard standing there!! The same thing happened in there. Raman walked up to the guard casually, when he pointed his spear at Raman, "Stop!!! You may not enter!!!!" Raman was amused. He pleaded the guard, "Please let me go. The king had offered me a reward and asked me to collect it!" The second guard also thought like the first. He asked, "If you give me half of what the king gives you, then I shall let you in!" Raman was happy. he bolted inside, without saying anything to the guard. He just made a signal that he would give him half of the reward.
Raman rushed in and saw the performers doing a lovely skit. It was a treat to his eyes. "Oh! I must think fast, or the guards will get annoyed," So, Raman tiptoed, until he got behind the stage. He picked up a stick and started to run towards the performers. He got behind them and started to hit the chief actor. "AH!!!!!!OW!!!!!!MERCY!!!!!OW!!!!!!!!" Krishnadevaraya started shouting, "Raman!!!!!! Stop it!!!!!! Have you gone mad!!!! How dare you disturb the performance!!!!!!" He turned to his attendants, "Bring Raman to me."

When Raman was dragged to the king, he clenched his fists and screamed, "You have gone too far, Raman. You shall receive a hundred lashes for this impudence." As one of the attendants approached Raman and raised the whip, Raman bowed to the king, "O king, please wait. I have two friends who shall share the lashes. May I call them?" Krishnadevaraya agreed. Raman whispered something into the attendant's ear. He marched out with a few other soldiers and returned back with the door guards!! Krishndevaraya was shocked!!!! "RAMAN!!!! Do you want to be beheaded?!" Raman subtly replied by telling him of the incidents that he faced. The king was both enraged and amused. Enraged with the dishonest guards and amused by Raman's wit. He brought the two guards to him and said angrily, "HOW DARE YOU ALLOW YOURSELVES TO BE BRIBED INTO DISOBEYING MY ORDERS?!!" He turned to his attendants, "Give them fifty lashes each, " and sent them away with the bribed soldiers. He then turned to Raman. "I am grateful to you, Raman, for exposing these rogues. Take a bag of gold coins for your efforts!" Thus, Raman lost his punishment and earned a reward for it!!!!

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