Wit and Humour: The Story of Tenali Raman and the Robbers

Hi!!! Today I thought of trying a new segment, with witty and funny stories. I'm starting off with everyone's favourite, Tenali Raman!!!! Raman is a witty and funny courtier/jester in the court of Krishnadeva Raya, the king of the Vijaynagar empire. Today's story is about how Raman used his unmatchable wit to ward off robbers who wanted to steal his jewellery.
By the way, I still have to give the answers to yesterday's post!!! Here they are!!

Across:

2 - Kurukshetra
4 - Barbarika
7 - Amba
8 - Yuyutsu
9 - Ekalvya

Down:

1 - Arjuna
3 - Dushala
5 - Vidura
6 - Vedavyasa
10 - Uttara
11 - Vayu
12 - Kunti

Tenali Raman was an instant hit in the court of Vijaynagar. The king laughed at his tales of wit and his spectacles of intelligence. He was always anxious to please the king. He feared that he would lose his position. Raman would leave his home early in the morning and come back late in the night. The king cherished Raman. This popularity of his earned him many things, like money, fame and enemies. MANY enemies. I mean it, a LOT. All of the courtiers hated him for his recognition. Raman would win the trust of the King and be his right-hand-man all the time. This annoyed the courtiers. They continuously plotted to kill Raman, but all were in vain. Raman would use his ingenious brain and come up with a way to save his life. He was the smartest man in Vijaynagar, claimed the king. This irritated the chief minister, Rajguru. He was hellbent upon eliminating Raman. He tried so many ways, but Raman was his own saviour time and again.

One moonlit night, Raman was returning home from the palace, when he remembered, "Ayooo!!! Coming late from the palace, I have forgotten to water my fields this week!!! I must take water from the well and pour it into the path near the fields. The path shall help in distributing the water properly. I shall have to do it tomorrow or maybe…" Suddenly, as he was approaching the gate of his house, he stiffened. He grit his teeth and held his breath. He saw two dark figures lurking in the shadows behind his field. Raman eyed them suspiciously. He knew that they hadn't seen him, "Thieves!!! They don't know that I've seen them. Well, well, well!!!" Raman tiptoed towards his house stealthily. The robbers were too busy plotting how to steal from Raman.
Raman scampered into his house and went straight into the kitchen, where his wife was making her dinner, " Ri?! Is that you?! Your dinner is cold, I'll warm it up for you." Raman kept looking left and right, in pursuit of the robbers. To his wife's surprise, Raman raised his voice and almost shouted at her, "WE HAD A BUSY DAY AT COURT!! THE CITY IS RIDDEN WITH THIEVES AND PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WARNED TO LOCK UP THEIR VALUABLES!!!!!" His wife was astounded!! "Oh, dear!! What should we do?! I don't even latch the door when I sleep!!" Raman paused for a bit, then he continued shouting, "PUT ALL OF THE JEWELS AND GEMS IN A TRUNK AND I'LL THROW IN THE WELL!!!! NO THIEF WILL EVER FIND IT!!!!" The robbers were scurrying over to the window and heard all that Raman was saying, "HaHa Raman!!! That's what you think!!! You can't hide the jewels!!!"  

Raman edged a little closer to his wife and whispered, "There are two thieves outside. I shall dupe them. Fill the trunk with something, anything heavy. VERY heavy!!" His wife quickly understood what to do, "Ohhh… that's why you were shouting!!" She dragged out a giant bronze chest, which had a shining silver lock dangling from the lid. She whispered a few words into Raman's ears," Gusbusgusbus" She went into the pantry, and came out with a humongous, bulky stone. It was a grinding stone. It was black and mottled with silver and white spots. It was about the size of a big basketball!!!! Raman helped his wife load it into the trunk. It made a huge BANG!!!!!! The robbers were alert. They ran up to the window and heard more THUDS!!!!! and BONGS!!!!! They thought that Raman had so much gold!!!!! They dreamed of fancy chariots and mansions. Suddenly, Raman hauled the trunk and waddled out of the door. The robbers bolted away and hid on the side of the house. They sniggered to themselves. Peering into the well, Raman lifted the massive trunk onto his shoulders and chucked it into the water, making the largest SPLASH he had ever heard!!! Raman peered around the well and shouted, "I HOPE THERE ARE NO THIEVES AROUND!!!!" The two robbers high-fived each other and set off to pull the trunk out of the well.

Meanwhile, Raman and his wife blew out the lamps and watched as the robbers tiptoed to the well. "it's safe now!!" the robbers exclaimed. They were approaching the well, when one of the robbers tapped the other one on the shoulder, "Macha! I think Raman is awake!!!" The other robber slapped him on the head. PHAT!!!! "You fool!!!! They are asleep!! Can't you see that the lamps are out?! Your bickering will make them wake up!!! Now chup!!!!" They both zipped their mouths and continued hobbling over to the well.
The robbers reached the well and stared deep down into the water. They saw no trunk. "Macha!! I can't see the gold!! Where is it?!" The other robber was annoyed. He slapped him on the head. PHAT!!!! "You imbecile!!! The trunk would've sunk with all of the gold in it. We must empty the well to find it." So, the ridiculous robbers took the hanging bucket and lowered it into the well. They pulled up the bucket and stared down, "Macha!!! Where should we put the water?! There's no tank!!" As usual, the other robber slapped him on the head. PHAT!!!! " You dumdum!!! Can you see this path?! It must lead to a field!! We can chuck the water over there!!!" Then, they dumped the water into the path (Did you guys guess which path it was? Easy, right?! It was Raman's!!! Haha!) The robbers continued to fill the bucket, take out the bucket and throw the water. fill the bucket, take out the bucket and throw the water. fill the bucket, take out the bucket and throw the water. This continued for so long!! They took breaks and complained of a backache, but they just carried on (Very silly robbers, right?)!!!

A little before dawn, Raman whispered to his wife, "I think it's time I relieved the poor fools!" He sauntered down to the well, where the robbers were toiling. They didn't see Raman behind them. Raman stated, "Thank you, o kind men! You have done a fine job of watering my field!!!" One of the robbers continued working and didn't turn around, "We aren't watering a field!" The other robber turned around and saw Raman!!! He was shocked!!! "Macha!!! He's here!!!" He patted his accomplice on the shoulders continuously. He didn't answer. He repeated his statement. No answer. Finally, when he lost his patience, the other robber slapped the questioning one, "YOU ARE MAD!!!!! Who's here?!" He saw Raman too!!! They started biting their nails and their knees started to wobble. Raman again stated, "You men have given water to my ailing plants!!! How can I ever repay you?!" The two robbers didn't reply. They just made a run for it. They bolted from Raman's house and were never heard from again.
Later at court, When Raman told the king of his nocturnal adventure, the king roared with laughter, "HAHAHA!! HOHOHO!! HEEHEEHEE!! Raman, not only did you stop them from stealing, but you made them work for you!!! HAHAHA!!!! You are a rogue, I say. A rogue!!!! HAHAHA!!!!" The king gave Raman a bag of gold coins for diverting his care-laden mind with the amusing tale. He gave him another bag of gold coins for his sheer wit and intelligence. Raman bowed to the king, and set off home to tell his wife the good news.

Thanks for reading Tenali Raman and the Robbers!!! Please subscribe with your email and press the blue button to receive emails on my posts!!! Happy Reading!!!